this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
