I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
