Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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