im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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