tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
