apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
