Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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