your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
