well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
