Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize