i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
