i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Bring me that man meat
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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