he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize