some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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