dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
