Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
