My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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