I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
