Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
