So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
