this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
