I wanna passion pit in your ass
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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