she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He has the fingertips of a God
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