can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We had to coat check the pizza.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
