I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
