whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
