I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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