It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
false alarm, still single
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
