you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize