also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
