I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
