did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize