I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Small penises have feelings too.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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