I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
