puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
