I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
