What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize