Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize