The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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