I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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