two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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