How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Who died my cat blue again?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
