If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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