I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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