people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
