he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
