Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
