dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
And then he peed in my hair
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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