After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize