have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
