I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She's the barista slut.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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