my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
