im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
