There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
