can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize