i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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