So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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