i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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