A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
