I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
