i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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