at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize