But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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