If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
