do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize