Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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