I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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