my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
