if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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