so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize