My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
