We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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