Yo dont text me then not text me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
