Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize