i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
