You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize